This is a little crack poem expressing what might be going through the brains (Alright, making a huge assumption they even have one) of DC comics. It was done for a Tuesday laugh, not beta'd. Just done to crack a few smiles. Apologies in advance to Dick and Kory shippers. Ducking to avoid any potential rotten tomatoes.
In conclaves dark, where monkeys on fermented bananas dwell,
typing on computers, wrecking years of history to hell, we sit and ponder
throughout the night, how to give reader's a terrible fright. Hmm popular
Duo we must destroy, they make every dang action toy. No, super
powered it all must be. Normal humans we cannot see. Pathology
there must be for a mortal men to do this you see. One we
drive off, two we turn dark and kill. Dark psychic demons
dwell, better to see than the angels of better nature be. Believe
nothing, trust nothing the motto shall be. DTA simple and pat. Batman
still stands, can't have that. Bring in another, brave and true, but unlike
One, call every fault and miscue. Strip the costume, break the back,
Azrael the black Bruce Wayne you lack. What's that cry, what's the
roar, fans screaming from the comic book store. No wait, you simpletons
do not understand. It is all part of a master plan. We know angst, and blood, and
gore is what you buy a comic for. All right, all right our ears are sore, we
really cannot take much more. Azrael is gone, bring back One in mantle
Bat, Heal the Wayne, you people can be such a pain. Create a new town that we will do, Bludhaven dark and gritty too. One now has his own town. Revenge shall still be ours,
Devin Grayson shall rue your hours. Destroy she will totally, number one
broken and betraying what he stood for. Ouch ouch our ears our ears, alright we shall
switch gears. Of many things we have made a mess, we shall do what we do
best. Destroy Bludhaven not rebuild and start another crisis, after all it had been two
years. Our ears are tired of number One, Dan is here, our battle won. Kill
him off is what will do, ouch ouch the scream and din, now it comes from the Wizard
too. We are not cold or unfeeling, we punch the continuum and send you
reeling. Jason Todd brought from the dead. What? You mean you still
would like him dust? Alright alright, save One we must, who can we kill
to make the people read '52'? We will kill off poor Conner Kent, but hey
look who's back, Duella Dent. What you say, who the heck is she? Well
Joker's daughter many thought her to be. Come come stop the screaming, stop
the roar. What do you mean '52' was a bore and snore. Booster Gold we
gave you back, alright yes he is a low-rent hack. Ralph Dibney though will fit
the bill, poor stupid sap now him we'll kill. Been a year now never fear, next
Crisis it will soon appear. We give you 'Countdown', please spare the mob,
we're giving you a Monitor named "Bob". Another crisis you do not want so
see, really now how can this be? We've already started, so chew on this,
'Batman RIP'. Children you want then kids you'll see, we'll put Damian back
on the family tree. Ouch ouch crabapples hurt, alright we concede, he is
an annoying ah squirt. Help Help, we are under attack, Tomasi come, please
aet it all back. Wolfman, Wolfman we need you mack, restart the Titans, find
out what we lack. These Batman fans they are a dangerous lot, unfortunately
They also have a pretty accurate shot. Why can't they be gentle, why
can't they play nice, like guests at a wedding and only throw rice? Hear comes
a note attached to a piece of lead, they must have figured out Superman
sleeps in our bed. Ah it is a treaty from Char and her troops, Our comics they have read, for peace the price is Dan's lousy head. Char has a mighty katana to do the chore
and promises it could give us plenty of gore. Damian also they demand to die,
it is suggested he might make a nice French fry. We must use our brains, we must find
our wits, we're being threatened with our own Lazarus pits. They will not go away, they
won't shut up. We must send them some sort of loving cup. Ah love is a popular story,
we know what will do we'll bring back Kory. OUCH this could be trouble, this could be
dire, for Starfire they are building a funeral pyre. It's hopeless, we see now its true
HELP HELP BAT FAMILY, WE REALLY DO NEED YOU!!
